you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
