Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
