ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
