My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
