Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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