you would pick up someone in the library
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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