im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize