ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
