bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
