you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
