Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
