We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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