Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
