i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
