I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He passed out mid-signature
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
