i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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