Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize