The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Quick, to the slutcave!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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