and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
