STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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