this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize