well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
