were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
