No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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