I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
