5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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