all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We left an ass print on the piano.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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