She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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