i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
