you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
