Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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