the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
