break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
