oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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