That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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