I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
