He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
