did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
