Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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