so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
