Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
