this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
