Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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