I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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