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You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
