well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize