I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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