I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
