How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
