You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
