Only a mothe r could love this liver
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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