I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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