I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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