I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
