But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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