I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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