Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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