whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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