Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
