WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
