whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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