How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize