Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
