Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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