so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
