i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
