i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
